


Musings of a Horny Bastard

by chocolateghost



Series: Meditations of Two Lovesick Idiots [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Dirty Thoughts, F/M, Masturbation, Pining, Sexual Fantasy, Smut, Stream of Consciousness, Unrequited Love, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:29:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolateghost/pseuds/chocolateghost
Summary: "Jon Snow is going to hell and he knows it."Jon's inner monologue as he attempts to work out his feelings for Sansa.





	Musings of a Horny Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> If this feels a little disjointed, that's on purpose. We're just peeking into Jon's brain to capture his stream of consciousness. So lots of jumping around.

Jon Snow is going to hell and he knows it. He should probably go to church. Maybe talk to a priest. Get an exorcism. Drown himself in holy water. Whatever it takes. But he’s not sure if any god can help him at this point. Sansa Stark possesses his very being. Burns in his soul like an unquenchable fire. She haunts him at all hours of the day. And keeps him awake all night. His body drenched in sweat and his cock hard. He’s starting to wonder if he’s getting enough blood to his brain. It's fucking maddening.

 

There had to be something wrong with him. She is practically his sister. Jon had lived with his single mother until he was eight years old. She died suddenly and the Starks took guardianship of him. He got along with Robb and Arya very well. The boys were so little they pretty much always thought Jon was their brother. Cat was the best surrogate mother he ever could have imagined. And as far as he was concerned Ned Stark was his father. He loved this family and they loved him.

 

But Sansa… Sansa was always a little more indifferent to him growing up. Not that she wasn't polite and friendly, but they just never really had much in common. But she was always his sister. At least that’s what he used to think, before puberty hit. So yeah, he might have noticed that she was starting to fill out her clothes in a more desirable way. And ok, her bikinis seemed to be getting skimpier every summer, but he would never ever gawk at her. He couldn’t. Certainly not while everyone was around. But goddamnit he wanted to so bad. It was fucking torture.

 

After The Joffrey Incident in high school, it was as if Sansa finally noticed him. They really started to talk and get to know each other. She started smiling at him. Touching him. They had inside jokes. They would hang out even without the family. When Sansa joined him at the same university their friendship grew exponentially. They knew no one else there and grew closer as a result. She is his best friend. It has simultaneously been the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. He loves her. Inside and out. Being her friend is amazing. But he wants more and it’s killing him.

 

He wants to fuck her. Fuck her so hard maybe he’d just die right there inside her. Fuck her so good that maybe she'd fall in love with him too. He would be so good to her. She deserves someone who can please her. He knows he could do it. He’s overheard her talking to her friends that her past boyfriends had never really been great in bed. Certainly not enough to truly satisfy her. It made his blood boil. He was insanely jealous not only that she had been with other men, but that they didn’t treat her right. How could anyone not want to give her everything?

 

He can't take it. He fists his cock every night till he cums all over himself. His mind filled with fantasies of her gorgeous face and body. Her lips. God her lips. The contrast of the cherry red against her creamy porcelain skin is enough to drive him mad. He wants to kiss them. Lick them. Bite them. He imagines those plump lips wrapping around his thick cock and sucking him dry. Her tongue worshipping him until he just can’t take it anymore. She would suckle on each of his balls while she kept stroking him. She would stare up at him with her bright blue eyes. She would only break eye contact to close them in pleasure and moan around his cock. She would take him to the root until he exploded down her throat and in her mouth. She would swallow all of his seed and love the taste. Or maybe she would pull him out and tell him to cum on her face while opening her mouth wide and sticking out her tongue obscenely. The thought never ceases to finish him.

 

He would gladly return the favor. But first, there are a few places he’s always wanted to kiss her. The delicate freckles on her nose. The little mole on her jaw. And finally the scar on her inner thigh. All leading up to where he wants to kiss the most: her pretty pussy. He wonders if she would have any hair down there. Or would she be completely bare. Both ideas make his mouth water. But he kind of really wants to see some red curls framing her sweet lips. He wants those insanely long legs over his shoulders as he tongues and fingers her to orgasm after orgasm. He would leave her boneless. He imagines her cunt would taste as sweet as the lemon cakes she loves to devour. He once heard her moan with delight while snacking on them. His cock immediately got hard thinking how much he would love to hear that noise in a different context. Jealous of a goddamn cake. How fucking pathetic.

 

He would enjoy making love to her lazy and slow staring deeply into her eyes. Like two crystal clear pools he would gladly drown in. Her eyes are certainly one of her sexiest features. He’s often found himself lost in them. Always embarrassing himself and stammering an apology asking for her to repeat herself. She’ll often do something to accentuate them and drive him wild. It’s almost like she could make him cum just by looking at him. Her gaze is that intense.

 

Most of the time, however, he just wants to fuck her hard. He would pin her against the wall or pound her into the mattress. He wants her bent over the kitchen counter and in the shower. He wants to see her ride him. Her long hair flowing around her and her tits bouncing as she slides up and down on his cock. He wants to fuck her from behind. Spank her and pull her luscious hair. Just grip her hips and hammer her till they both come apart. Her pussy milking him, begging for his seed. He wants to cum deep inside her and watch it spill from her cunt. She's always been such a proper lady. He wants to make her scream like a whore. Wants to hear his name on her lips when she’s deep in the throes of passion. She’s always loud in his dreams.

 

He has always considered himself the rare breed of man that is equally attracted to both tits and ass. And Sansa is the total package. At this point in his life he would give anything just to see her naked. Would her tits be big enough for him to fuck? He thinks he would love to do that. Fuck them until he cums all over them. Painting them with his seed. All while she whispers filthy things to him. What would her nipples look like? Would they be brown or pink? He goes back and forth all the time. Either way he thinks they would be silky and smooth on his tongue and taste like strawberry ice cream. He’s going to spend all his money and get fat trying to chase that taste.

 

Jon has often admired the curve of her ass and the sway of her hips. He seems to always find a reason to walk behind her. To her credit she has never called him out. If she ever bends over he has to bite the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood in order to not run over and mount her like an animal. Because that is what he becomes around her. An animal. Wanting nothing more than to ravish her.

 

And it's not that he hasn't tried to get over her. He has dated other women. Thought he might've even been in love with someone else. She was a redhead too. Similar build and everything. He should’ve known from the start the relationship was doomed. She was a poor substitute when the real thing was constantly there; mocking him in his mind. What kind of asshole does that? Jon Snow. That’s who. He fucked it all up anyway when he called out Sansa’s name during sex. Needless to say that relationship ended right there.

 

That red hair though. It is just perfection. Long and flowing. He loves it whichever way she wears it. Up or down. In a neat braid or a messy bun. He wants to run his fingers through it. He just knows it would be so soft. He has been subtly smelling her hair for years. And whatever shampoo she uses is amazing. He would breathe it in all day if he could. And the color. It’s like a sunset or maybe a sunrise. He’s not quite sure. It’s like a mixture of copper and auburn with a touch of real flame Kissed by fire indeed. It is his absolute favorite color. Even though he tells everyone that it’s black. Probably because that’s how his heart feels most of the time these days.

 

The pain in his chest is getting too hard to bear. He knows he doesn’t really just want her in his bed. He wants everything with her. He wants them to have a life together. He wants to go on dates and talk for hours. He wants to have three kids and a mortgage with her. He wants to cook dinner with her. He wants to wake up in the morning next to her and kiss her till she giggles. He wants them to cuddle together as they watch a movie on the couch. He wants to grow old with her and die in her arms surrounded by their children and grandchildren. God he’s morbid.

 

She is just too fucking perfect. Her personality is so warm and loving. It’s like she wants to take care of everyone. He wants that affection. She is someone he imagines would have gotten along great with his mother. Her smile lights up his world and he can't stand how dark his life is without it. Her laugh is the sweetest sound in the world. That husky voice is a constant is his dirty mind. She is so great with children and animals. She would be the best mom. She’s a fantastic cook. And she’s intelligent and funny and incredibly talented at everything she puts her mind to. She’s so humble and demure, yet confident. And sexy. Drop dead fuck me sideways sexy.

 

Ok maybe she’s not perfect. That would be insane. Sure she can smack her gum. And maybe takes too many selfies. And can be stubborn to a fault. And… well... he has a hard time thinking of other things because he just doesn’t fucking care about all that shit. He wants all of her. All the baggage and everything that comes with her. 

 

He would tell her all of this if he wasn't so goddamn afraid. And he’s afraid of everything. Afraid of losing the only family he's ever really had. Afraid of being rejected by the only woman he's ever wanted. On the other hand, if he doesn’t tell her, he’s afraid of dying alone. He can just see it now. The coroner comes back with the cause of death: blue balls and a broken heart. Put it on his fucking tombstone. With his luck she would probably cry and confess her undying love for him at his funeral. Typical.

 

But that’s just the thing, he thinks she actually might be interested in him too. Sometimes she blushes and seems to lose her train of thought when she looks at him. Her touch may linger a bit too long. And he swears she has looked at him longingly and licked her lips. Could she possibly want him just as much as he wants her? Or has he just been wildly misinterpreting everything like some green boy?

 

He can't watch her be with anymore assholes. She’s been with more than her fair share. She deserves so much better. She is so good and pure. He would do anything for her. He would give her the world on a string of pearls. He would buy a diamond ring today and marry her tomorrow. If only she would give him a chance. Hell, he would even watch her wed another man. As long as she was happy. Maybe in the end that’s all he truly wants. Just her happiness. He would trade his soul to any god for her happiness. If they could guarantee that, maybe hell wouldn’t be so bad.


End file.
